how it happened
by Foopar
Summary: Have you ever played a game, and then right in the middle of it something happens that doesnt make sense? That happens in Resident evil a lot, so I decided to shed some light on some of the things that dont make sense.
1. Why Chris uses steroids

**Author's note's**

**This is a remake of a story I wrote on my old profile. I made a new email address, so I made a new profile to, so I decided to bring all of my old stories to my new profile. Anyway enjoy the story and please review. The first person to do that gets a cookie! (Note: I know it's never really confirmed in resident evil 5 that Chris takes steroids, but it's never denied either.)**

Christmas day, 2007. It was a very cold night, it was snowing. We were all inside Barry's house, he threw a party. Usually I like party's, but not when Leon is at them. Hell, I'd rather have Wesker be here then..._ him._ I hate that jerk, ever since he went to spain and saved Ashley, and beat Saddler, and got a 96 on metacritic, he's been a big jerk.

"Hey, Redfield!" He yelled toward's me. "C'mere will ya." Oh no, I didn't want him to know I was here. Maybe if I just stay still he'll go away?

"C'mon man I know you here me." He wasn't very far, if I dont get up I'll look like a jerk in front of Jill, aww man.

"Uhh, yeah, hey Leon." I said shyly.

"C'mon Redfield, lets have an armwrestle!" He said excitedly.

"Oh, uh, no thanks man, I'm kinda tired, I think I'm gonna head home." C'mon, please let me go.

"Come on Chris, you can beat him!" Oh no, shut up Jill!

"Yeah Chris, go for it!" Great, now everyone's chanting me on! Well, here goes nothing.

"Ok, alright, let's do this. But I've had a couple of drinks, so I'm not really on my A game." What am I saying! There isn't any alchohal here! Great, now I'm gonna look like a wimp, and an idiot. Well, here we go. (Chris and Leon sit down and clentch fists, Barry yell's go, and Chris's hand is on the table in a blink of an eye)

"Wooooo! Alright Leon!" Claire yelled. I cant believe this, my own sister. Look's like everyone is cheering Leon now.

"Good work bud." Barry said, since when were they "Buds"! I've had enough, I got to get out of here! (Minute's later, out on the street.") I cant believe I just ran away, now they think Im a wimp, and idiot, AND cry baby! I am not a baby, or wimp, and I'm most certanly not and idiot! Well, I'd better not think about it, I have a checkup at the doctor tommorow, I'd better study for my blood test.

"Ello stranga!" What was that!

"Who's there!" I yelled.

"What'ya buyin?" A man wearing a big black trenchcoat walked up to me.

"W-what are you talking about?"

"I said, what'ya buyin?" He opened up his trench coat, inside was an assortment of weapon's. Why is he showing me this, I don't want any guns! Huh? What's that? There was a bottle of some sort marked ST.

"Ooohhh. ay see what ya lookin at. Dose is, uhh, performance enhancer's." I looked at him, I couldn't see my face, but I'm guessing it look's confused.

"Dey make ya stronger, fasta, just one shot is da same as a whole day at da gym." He has an extremely thick accent, but I'm guessing he's saying something about making you stronger and faster. One shot is the same as a whole day in the gym. Is her serious? Are these thing's legal? Are they safe?

"And before ya ask stranga, there perfectly safe." Is this guy a mind reader?

"uh, o-ok, how much are day?" Damn, his accent is so thick he's got me talking like him.

"Tell ya what, first time is free stranga." What? Free? Well in that case I guess I dont have anything to loose.

"Well, ok, I'll take it I guess." He gave me the bottle and a needle, I hate needle's, there sharp and scary. But if they could help me beat Leon, I'm willing to do it.

"Oh, and just one more ting, if ya want to stay strong, you'll need to use frequent injections." So that's how he's gonna make money. Sneaky bastard. (about 10 minutes later, the merchant is walking alone on the street)

"HAHAHAHA! Poor sucker. Hey, who's dat lady over dere?" The merchant walks up to the pretty brunette lady.

"What'ya buyin stranga?" He asks her. He opens up his coat, which reveals an assortment of guns, and yellow hair dye. The woman's name is Jill Valentine, but that's a story for another time. (Now, 3 years later, in Africa)

"Me should of scene it coming. It no take long for bad people to get bad poison that make people turn into monster. Now, small county's in trouble, and me have to save them." Me in Africa now, me stop bad people. If bad people try to hurt Chris, Chris will punch them. Chris is strong now, man in black coat give Chris special medicine to make him stronger. Now Chris is strongest of them all! Some people say medicine make Chris dumb, but they wrong. Me park now, me meet lady here and we go get bad guy's together.

"Welcome to Africa, My name is Sheva Alomar." A pretty lady talk to me. She probably my partner.

"Me Chris!" I tell her. She just look at me. She put her hand out in front of me.

"Uhh, are you ok?" She ask me. "Why wont you shake my hand?"

"Cant move arm's, muscles to big." I tell her. She just look at me more.

**Author's note's**

**Well I hope you liked it, you can expect more chapters soon.**

**P.S. I'll buy it at a high price!**


	2. How Rebecca got her body armor

**Author's note's**

**Disclaimer: I do not own grand theft auto**

July 24, 1998. S.T.A.R.S. Brovo team member, Rebecca Chamber's is walking through the garden outside the mansion. While walking, she fail's to realize that a hunter is sneaking up behind her because she was fantasizing about Billy Coen. She is snapped back into reality when she feel's the hunter ripping through her skin with it's claws.

"OOWWWWW!" She yell's. She quickly turn's around and shoot's the hunter, even after it was dead she did not stop shooting. Eventually, after she went through 31 bullets, she fixes herself up with a herb.

"Ello stranga." Says a voice behind her.

"AHHHHH! ZOMBIE!" Rebecca yelled at the man who was obviously not a zombie do to being able to talk.

"Calm down stranga, I aint gonna hurt ya." The man spoke with a thick accent that Rebecca guessed was Australian.

"I wanna help ya. Come ova here, got sumethin that might interest ya, hehehe." The man said. He opened up his coat, and revealed a large supply of gun's and ammo. Rebecca still didn't trust the man, but figured there was no harm in buying some bullet's.

"Can I buy some of those bullets?" She said.

"Uh, I dont have bullets for sale stranga." The man replied.

"Yeah you do, there right there." Rebecca said pointing to a clip of handgun bullet's.

"No! You cant have those stranga, pick sumthin else." He said angrily. Rebecca didn't know why he wouldn't sell her bullet's, but figured he was just insane. She then noticed he was also carrying a backpack.

"What's in there?" She asked the hooded man.

"I got some body armor in there." He said. Rebecca then remembered the hunter that had cut her torso, and decided that body armor would help.

"Ok, I'll take it!" She said happily. The man pulled out a big white piece of metal from his backpack, and handed it to Rebecca. She, in turn pulled out her wallet, and gave the man some money. He smiled and said,

"Come back anytime, hehe." Rebecca put the vest in front of her face to examine it.

"Looks good." She said, once she put the vest down, the man was gone. _Meanwhile, back in the mansion._

_"_Hehehe!" The merchant was laughing, when he spotted a man wearing sunglasses walk by.

"Hey, got sumthin that might interst ya." He said, but that, is a story for another time.

**Well, I hope you liked it, if I get enough review's I'll do another one. Any sugestions would be appreciated.**


	3. How Chris lost his gun

**Author's note's**

**OMG LOL ROFL LMAO PMSL STFU JFK :) :( ;) AND EVERYTHING ELSE!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Metal gear solid**

July, 1998. Before S.T.A.R.S. Alpha team made it to the mansion, something happened outside. I'm sure most of you will remember that at the beggining of Resident evil, Chris does not have a gun. He only has a knife, even though he is seen shooting when there were still outside. Why you ask? I'll tell you. Do to being a big pussy, Chris started running away from the dog's as soon as they attacked. Some people think that everyone ran away, but it was actually only Chris. When Capcom decided to make a game out of the events that happened inside the mansion, he made them make everyone in the game run so he wouldn't seem like a wimp. While he was running, he fell down a large hole in the ground.

"MOOOOOMMY!" He yelled as he fell 10 feet. Once he stood up, he noticed blue flame and a man wearing a black cloak.

"Welcome!" He said. Chris got to his feet, and pointed his gun at the man.

"Who are you!" He said.

"What're ya buying, stranga?" Was the man's reply.

"Answer the question!" Chris yelled.

"Got sumthin that might interest ya." The hooded man then opened up his cloak, to reveal an assortment of weapons. After the man asked Chris what he was buying 10 times in a row, Chris finally took out his wallet just to get this man to shut up. After looking over his arsenal, Chris decided to buy some extra ammo and get out of there.

"How much for a clip?" He asked.

"Uh, ya cant have ammo stranga." Replied to man.

"Why not?" Chris was now getting angry.

"BECAUSE I SAID SO STRANGA!" Yelled the merchant in anger. Chris realized that this man wasn't going to give him ammo, so he decided to just give it up. Suddenly, Chris caught something bright and shiny in the corner of his eye.

"Wh-what is that." Chris asked in what seemed lke a trance.

'OH This? This is jsut a knife stranga." Chris wa staring at it, mezmorized by it. He tried to speak, but no word's came out, the only thing he could say was,

"Shiny..." After about 5 minute's of idle staring, Chris managed to say something.

"I want it." Was what he said. Chris quickly shoved his wallet into the man's hand's.

"Take however much you want, just give that to me!" He yelled desperately. The merchant was now very confused, but saw this as a good opportunity. After counting Chris's money, the merchant decided to try and take this man for everything he could.

"Not enough cash! Stranga." He said.

"Oh please, please I'll do anything, just give me the shiny!" Chris started to beg. He had totally lost it. The man then pointed to Chris's gun.

"I'll buy it at a high price." He boomed. Chris quickly grabbed his gun, and without giving it any thought at all, shoved it into the man's hand's. He then grabbed the knife, and walked away while holding the knife as close as possible to his face.

"Precious, my precious." Was the last thing the merchant heard before Chris left.

"Hehehe, sucker." Said the merchant outloud. The gun that Chris had given him was a very rare gun, worth much much more then that little knife. The mysterious gun salesman then put a few thing's from the table into his backpack, and disappeared. Meanwhile, Chris was desperately slashing at a zombie with his useless knife.

"Goddamn knife!" He yelled.

"It doesnt't do anything!" After 5 green herbs, 2 first aid sprays, and 10 minute's, the zombie finally dies. Chris then look's at his knife, then throws it on the ground.

"Precious my ass!"


	4. Why leon went blonde

**Author's note's**

**Sorry this took so long, but I've been having a hard time thinking of idea's for chapter's. Then, yesterday, it hit me. I got an idea, I hope you like this chapter, if yyou do please review.**

"Aww man, that was a tough day. Man was training intense today. Well I'm back home now, guess I should check my email." Leon said as he got inside his house. He walked over to his computer and sat down.

"Let's see, my email address is superLeon123, and my password is password." Leon snickered to himself when he wrote his password.

"I'm so clever, no one will ever figure out my super secret password! All of my secret spy email's are safe with a passowrd that clever." Leon said to himself. Leon wasn't the smartest guy in the world. He logged on and noticed an email from Claire. He clicked it.

_Dear Leon_

_Hi Leon! It's Claire, I just wanted to thank you for telling Chris that I was on Rockfort Island. It's kinda a long story, but he saved me from the tranny twins! So anyway I just wanted to tell you that I'm safe, and back home with Chris. Oh, I almost forgot! I also wanted to tell you about this boy I met on Rockfort Island. His name is Steve, and he's sooooooooooo cute! :) Well, he was until he turned into the hulk, and Wesker took him away. Actually now that I think about it, I think it was actually good that Wesker took Steve away. Maybe he can help poor Steve with his drug addiction. Steve never told me he did drug's, but I could tell he did just by listening to his voice. Well i'm sure your busy with all kind's of super spy stuff so I'm gonna go now. I wonder if I should start calling you 005 or something lol! By!11!1!_

_Love Claire_

Leon stared at the screen with his mouth open for three minute's. He was shocked. But the shock soon turned into anger.

"This... this can't be! This can not be true! How could Claire fall for some stupid drug addict! What about me! WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Leon yelled. He got up from his chair and smashed his computer with strength not yet known to mankind. He then went on a complete rampage, smashing everything in his house. Soon his hair started flashing yellow, and he felt stronger.

"No no no! Claire... I love you!" Leon yelled as he smashed more thing's. Suddenly Leon screamed so loud people three houses down heard him. And then, there was a huge explosion. As the smoke slowly cleared, Leon was left standing in his house, with newly aquired blonde hair, and newfound power's.

"What...what happened!" Leon exclaimed. Suddenly he realized what had happened.

"Wait a minute... could it be? Yes! It is! I've... I've!" Leon didn't finish his sentence. He just flew away, to track down Claire and show her that he's twice the man Steve is. Incase you didn't figure out what happened, I will tell you. Through the power of lealousy, Leon had turned into a super saiyan! He is now the most powerful man on earth, and is going to show Claire that now.

**Author's note's**

**Yeah, Leon went super saiyan...wow. Anyway I hope you enjoyed an please review.**


	5. Why Wesker went matrix

**Author's notes**

**Yay a new chapter! I'd like to thank Blades252 for the idea for this chapter.**

_Dear diary_

_ I've finished sparing with Jill, and now I'm bored. Everything is ready. Uroboros is complete, Las plagas has been spread through the area, Jill is completely obidient, everything is ready. But Chris still isn't here. I've heard from my mole in the BSAA that the bafoon was chasing a butterfly and fell of a 2 story bulding and is in critical condition. The idiot landed on his head. Thanks to his stupidity, my plan has been delayed until he's all better! A 2 story building, I can not believe how weak he is! All well, I guess I can go 'play' with Jill some more. Complete obidience, how I love P-30._

Wesker was writing in his diary. When he finished, he was about to hide it in his drewer, but decided not to.

"Hmm, with Chris coming soon I'd better find a better hiding spot. I swear, if he gets his hands on this..." Wesker trailed off. He had a flashback to the time that Chris found his diary back when they were both still in S.T.A.R.S. He went on to tel everybody all of his deepest secrets. Wesker cringed his teeth in anger.

"You know I'm not the only man who sleeps with a teddy bear!" He yelled.

"Umm... Albert?" Excella said while coming in. Wesker quickly turned around.

"Oh! Excella, I was, uhh, just... what do you want!" Wesker yelled. Excella began talking, but Wesker just tuned her out.

"Oh great. Now she knows! I'll have to dispose of her to make sure she doesn't tell anyone." Wesker thought.

"Albert! Are you even listening to me?" Excella said angrily.

"Huh? Oh! Yes, yes of course dear heart." Wesker said.

"Perhaps I could infect her with uroboros and use her to kill Chris." Wesker continued.

"What did you say?" Excella asked.

"Huh? Oh dear, did I say that out loud!" Wesker asked. An awkward silence filled the air for a few minutes.

"... Well I'd better get going." Wesker said while running out the door. Before Excella could think of a response, Wesker was on the other side of the facility.

"That was close." Wesker said.

"Welcome!" An Australian accent said. Wesker quickly turned around to find an old friend. Well, not really a friend, just someone he knew.

"Oh dear god it's you." Wesker said incredibly annoyed.

"What're ya buyin?" The Merchant asked. He opened up his coat to reveal, well, nothing. Nothing at all.

"Oh, dear god! Put some underwear on!" Weker yelled. The merchant looked down and appeared ambarrased.

"Oh, hehe, sorry stranga. Wrong side." The Merchant opened up the other side of his coat to reveal every weapon. Ever.

"I dont want any weapons! Why can't you just leave me alone! Every time I kill you, you just re-appear in a different location!" Wesker yelled.

"What're ya buyin?" The Merchant asked.

"How do you not die!" Wesker yelled.

"What're ya buyin?" The Merchant asked.

"Leave me alone!" Wesker yelled so loud everyone in the building heard him.

"What're ya buyin?" The Merchant asked.

"GGGGAAAAAARRRRRR!" Wesker yelled. He pulled out his Samuri edge.

"What're ya-" The Merchant had a hole in his head.

"Finally!" Wesker yelled. He turned around and began to walk away.

"Buyin?" Came a voice from behind him. Wesker stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around.

"My god, it won't die!" Wesker yelled.

"What're ya buyin?" The Merchant asked.

"If I buy something will you leave me alone!" Wesker yelled.

"Of course." The Merchant said.

"Fine! I'll take, err, that." Wesker said while pointing to a small square.

"Not enough cash! Stranga." The Merchant said.

"What are you talkng about? I have 500 dollar's in my wallet." Wesker said.

"Not enough cash! Stranga." The Merchant repeated. Wesker's eye began to twitch.

"There you are Albert. I've been looking every where for you." Excella said as she came in the room.

"Here, take this!" Wesker said while holding all of Excella's jewlery.

"Albert! That's my jewerly!" Excella said.

"Hehe, thank you." The Merchant said while taking 20,000$ worth of jewlery. He handed Wesker the small square object, and left.

"Oh thank god! He's gone! He's finally gone!" Wesker yelled. He fell to his knees and was on the verge of tears. It was the happiest moment of his life.

"So you just pawned 20,000$ worth of gold jewlery, for a DVD!" Excella yelled. Wesker looked up at her. He didn't even no what he bought, he just pointed to the first thing he saw in The Merchants coat. He held the DVD box in front of his face.

"The matrix." Wesker read the words on the box. Excella began talking, but Wesker once again tuned her out.

"I have been incredibly bored recently, I guess I might as well watch it." He thought.

"Albert! I'm trying to nag you!" Excella yelled.

"She never shuts up!" Wesker yelled.

"Wh-WHAT! How dare you say that to me!" Excella screamed.

"Oh, did I say that out loud again?" Wesker asked. Once again an awkward silence filled the room.

"... Well I'd better get going." Wesker said while running. He made it across the entire facility, ran into his room, locked the door, hooked up his DVD player, and was on the bedin 5.2 seconds.

"Alright, lets see what this movie can do." Wesker thought.

_A little while later_

Wesker sat on his bed, completely stunned. His jaw was dropped, and he couldn't move. He watched as the credits rolled, and thought about what he had just seen.

"That... was..." Wesker couldn't even finish the sentence. But he knew what he had to do.

_A few weeks later_

"Gah!" Chris yelled as Wesker punched him. He got off the floor and brang his gun up, but Wesker just dodged the bullets. The fight went on for several minutes, with Wesker kicking Chris's ass the whole time. Eventually, after 7 minutes of fighting, Wesker ran to the top of the staircase.

"I must say Chris, I'm dissapointed. I would love to finish you now, but the seven minutes are up. I must go before I miss the new episode Family guy. But don't worry, I won't leave you alone." Wesker said with a smirk. "Jill, kill them!" Wesker ordered. But Jill wouldn't move. She grabbed her head, and started yelling out in pain. She then ripped open the top portion of her shirt.

"Jill, now's not the time for that." Wesker said.\

"Oh, your just showing them the P-30." Wesker said, somewhat disapointed.

"Chris, look at that thing!" Sheva said.

"Yeah, I see it. Wesker's got some pretty weird fetish's." Chris replied.

"No you idiot, I think that thing is what's letting Wesker control her. We should get it off." Sheva said.

_Later_

"Jill! Jill, are you ok?" Chris asked once the device was off of her.

"Yeah... yeah. I'll be ok." Jill said weakly.

"Jill, how did Wesker get so powerful? The last time we fought, at the Spencer estate, he wasn't nearly this good. His strength is the same, but his techniqe is different. How did he do it!" Chris asked frantically. Jill took a moment before speaking.

"The Matrix."


End file.
